A Tory Proposal

As the government continues to battle the fall out of the free school meals vote, ministers have turned local Conservative associations to find alternative resolutions to the problem of feeding poorer children during the school holidays. The exercise in trying to find different solutions no matter how outlandish has led to a deluge of suggestions from local level Tories.

One proposal from an unnamed member in the South East, has raised particular interest within Whitehall. Project Hungry Child, as it has been dubbed by ministers, explores the possibility of enabling parents, unable to adequately feed their children during the holidays, the opportunity of selling one child to an affluent family or business in return for food vouchers to feed the rest of the family, subsequent children may be offered up for sale if the family can prove particular hardship.

The children will need to be of a suitable working age, around the age of 8 has been suggested, with a basic level of literacy and numeracy, be physically fit and fully vaccinated, as to prove useful to their potential new homes. The anonymous proposer has also listed benefits to the idea.

Among the benefits suggested is a lessening of a reliance on migrant workers from both European and non European countries in sectors such as agriculture and care which currently have acute shortages of workers and, as tax paying members of society, would contribute to the treasury to swell the coffers and further ensure the salaries of Test and Trace executives and PPE contracts could be paid rather than chasing offshore party donors who do not contribute to the UK tax system but yet benefit from it.

Other benefits listed are the opportunity to reduce the education budget as a number of children are removed from the system. This money can then be funnelled into the private school sector to provide a better education for the next generation of Tory MPs. The proposer also stated that it would give families the chance to move their children out of their crack den homes and into a life as a more useful member of society serving the British elites and economy.

It is hoped, if the plan comes into effect, businesses could also take advantage of the scheme and use the free labour it provides to bring down costs and prevent them from claiming further business support from central government at a time when crucial funds need to be diverted into the pockets of party donors.

Sections of the proposal already rejected by ministers include the nationalising of children as the setting of key performance indicators would prove difficult to enforce and the branding of sold children with the seal of their new owners.

Opposition is to the proposal is already gathering momentum with many complaining the idea is ‘Dickensian’ and inhumane.

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