Covid Marshals

Tough new rules restricting social gatherings to just six people will come into force this Monday as the government struggles to push the figure of new Coronavirus cases down after a spike in positives tests. 

It comes on the same day leader of the opposition, Sir Keir Starmer, criticised the government’s handling of the testing service after it was revealed some candidates for testing were being directed to testing sites hundreds of miles away as local centres struggled to keep up with demand.  

The new ‘rule of six’ law will be enforced by police who can fine lawbreakers £100 and will be assisted by Covid Marshals who will patrol city centres and known gathering spots to ensure groups are abiding by the new rules.

Covid Marshals?  Covid Marshals?! Are they some kind of really shit version of the scouts populated by Barry’s and Karen’s who can’t wait to snitch on the neighbours from number 74 for having a BBQ?

The whole idea of Covid Marshals really plays neatly into a fascist ideal of having a public do the dirty work for the government by selling out their nearest and dearest for a slap on the back and a publicly announced well done. Have we really got to the point in the development of our civilisation whereby shit like this is seen as an acceptable way to exist?

What next, children being trained to inform on their parents for thought crimes against the Party? Yes, that sound you can hear is George Orwell spinning in his grave and considering suing the government for plagiarism.

This pandemic has been grossly mishandled by the government, incompetence has been at the heart of its handling from day one, not because it’s a pandemic and therefore throws up unknowns which no one could predict, but because we, yes, WE, the great British public, have elected a bunch of idiots to be in charge of the country and allowed ourselves to be conned by promises of a green and pleasant land in a time after Brexit rather than voting for a government which can at least try to handle other issues. We fell for it; we fell for the one-trick ponies and we are now paying for it. 

In the meantime, people are still going to get sick from this virus, people will still be told to travel hundreds of miles for a test in a system which is woefully inadequate, we will be unable to meet with our loved ones and yet still be expected to return to offices which are inadequately socially distanced and travel on overcrowded public transport with complete strangers. There is no care for the public and the only thing that is being protected is the profits of big business and Tory MPs arses.

But you know, never mind, Barry and Karen are furiously filling out their Covid Marshal applications right now and are tooling themselves up ready for their first patrol and they already have their eye on you for not getting your coffee from Pret this morning.

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